Once the fog was beginning to clear I discovered something very interesting about the people we choose to have in our lives. I assumed that certain people would always be there for me; however, I quickly learned that is not always the case. I have gotten a fair amount of judgement along with alot of ups an downs in my life.  The days I am down, the more days I am without her, the more I feel worthless. Those days I truly want to focus on the positive and be strong, but I just can’t. I am loosing precious time that I will never get back.  I ask myself does she even remember who I am anymore.  The last time she saw me was when she was 2 and she is 4 now. What I do know is I will never give up! As long as I am a live, I will keep trying.  I will continue to reach deep inside and give it all I got.  I will not give in, as long as I am breathing. I let go of what could be a long time ago. I have been stripped down to my weakest self for all the world to see, in my rawest self.  Truth I don’t need to be loved, I just want to be accepted.  I am guilty of putting up walls and dressing up my soul and heart, in an attempt of creating something that doesn’t exist. So now that I think about it, I have been lacking a sense of belonging this past year and even until now. So until recently I hadn’t thought of the fact that at the end of the day everyone including myself are hard wired to need and want the thing we call love.  I am learning that that there are things a person can just bypass.  That in order to grow and learn a person must embrace with everything they have, including me.